Where Did All the Items Go?

Written By : Colin Basnett

seiferoth_01@hotmail.com

 

In Costa Del Sol

 

Cloud : Walks into his Costa Del Sol Condo

"Ah...Another relaxing day at Costa Del Sol..."

 

Tifa : "Ahhh!!!!!"

 

Cloud : $@#?! Now what??!!

 

Cloud : Runs outside to see what's going on

 

Tifa and Aeris : (Run into Costa Del Sol) "Ahhh!!!!!"

 

Cloud : "Another one of those Giant Ornament Eggs,

eh?" (Uses Fire 3 on Giant Ornament Egg)

 

Tifa : "Oh Thank you Cloud!" (Kisses him on cheek)

 

Aeris : "Thank you!" (Kisses him on other cheek)

 

Cloud : "Didn't I tell you to keep the Fire Materia

with you before you left for Rocket Town?"

 

Tifa and Aeris : (Shrugs their shoulders)

 

Cloud : "Well next time listen!"

 

Barret : (Walks in to condo from the beach) "Damn! I

need a towel or two!"

 

Red XIII : (Gnawing on towel) "Uh...here..." (Hands

Barret the soggy towel)

 

Barret : (Grimaces at the towel) "Uh...no

thanks...Good for nothin' cat."

 

Cid : (Approaches in the Highwind overtop of Costa Del

Sol) "Hey guys!"

 

Everyone : "Hey What took you so long!?"

 

Cid : "Shera was still fixin' me some frickin' tea but

she took too frickin' long so I frickin' left..."

 

Everyone : "Quit sayin' frickin!"

 

Everyone At The Beach : "Ahhh!"

 

Cloud : "What the hell's their problem?"

 

Emerald Weapon : (Rises out of the water)

 

Jonathan Higgins : "Oh my god, Magnum!"

 

Everyone : "Get back in your own fan fic man!"

 

Jonathan Higgins : "Ooops!" (Gets back in his own fic)

 

Cloud : "I thought we beat that sea water drinking,

seaweed haired, Mr. Dolphin eating idiot!"

 

Tifa : "Yeah!"

 

Emerald Weapon : "Sorry guys, Ruby Weapon used a

Phoenix Down on me!"

 

Everyone : Hey, Author! What are you doin' to us!?"

 

Author : "......I had to have a problem so this is

it...Every good story has to have a problem you

know......"

 

Barret : "Who cares about good writing skills! Just

get us out of this!"

 

Author : Okay...I'll get you out of THIS problem..."

(Calls up the Ruby Weapon, Ultima Weapon, and Diamond

Weapon..."

 

Phone Starts to Ring

 

Ruby Weapons Answering Machine : Hi, You have reached

1-800-CALL-RUBY The Ruby Weapon is unable to take

your call so we ask you leave a detailed message, why

you want to die and your phone number so we can back

to you as soon as we can. Thank you. Have A Great

Day"

 

Author: "Okay, Time for the Ultima Weapon..." (Calls

Ultima Weapon)

 

Phone Starts to Ring

 

Ultima Weapons Secretary : "Hello?"

 

Author : "Hi, I'd Like To Talk to Ultima Weapon,

Please"

 

Ultima Weapons Secretary : "Yes, I'll Get Him On The

Line Right Away..."

 

5 Hours Later...

 

Author : ZZZZzzz

 

Ultima Weapon : "Hello?"

 

Author : (Wakes Up) "What?…Oh yeah…Ultima??? Can you

by any change come to Costa Del Sol to destroy

AVALANCHE?

 

Ultima Weapon : "Yeah, Sure I'll be right over…"

 

Authors Cell Phone : Ring!!!!!

 

Ruby Weapon : "Hello?"

 

Author : "Yeah...Ruby...uh...I don't exactly want to

die but I know some people who do!  Come to Costa Del

Sol and I'll Show You..."

 

Ruby Weapon : "Okay...But they better be tasty!!!"

 

Author : "Should I call Diamond Nah…He's to weak..."

 

A few minutes later...

 

All Weapons : (Come Stomping Into Costa Del Sol and

squish a few tourists)

 

Yuffie : "Grr...I hate that stupid author! I'll have

to steal some of his materia..."

 

Author : "Sorry Yuffs...I took your Steal Materia

Away...Heh Heh Heh Heh..."

 

Yuffie : "I wish that author would disappear..."

 

Barret : (Starts to fire at the Weapons) "Damn! Did

the author steal my Missin' Score?"

 

Author : (Tossing Missing Score up in the air) "I'll

just add this to my little collection."

 

Cloud : "At least he didn't steal my

Ultima-What!!!!!!"

 

Author : (Steal Ultima Weapon) "Yoink!"

 

Everyone : "Let's get outta here!" (Runs towards

Highwind)

 

Emerald Weapon : "Aire Tam Storm!!!"

 

Aeris : "Ahhh!!!" (Dies)

 

Tifa : (Groans) Ill get a Phoenix Down..."

 

Back In The Highwind

 

Cid : "Okay, All we need to do is get outta here and-

 

Author : (Laughs and rides away in the Highwind)

 

Red XIII : Okay...Time For Plan B..."

 

Vincent : "What's Plan B?"

 

Red XIII : "You'll have to find out in the next

episode!!!"

 

What Is Red XIII Thinking About Find Out Next Time

On 'Where Did All The Items Go 2'

 

Obviously this will be a 2 or 3 episode story so check

by soon for the sequel to 'Where Did All The Items

Go?